Elena...

As I mentioned earlier...today was a hard day for me. We were with the orphan babies at Hospital #5. Some visits don't get to me as much...it didn't help that I am exhausted, with my emotions on the very edge of all we are doing! I wanted to introduce you to a sweetheart! Her name is Elena (please forgive me if that spelling is not officially Ukrainian enough). She turned one years old...in the hospital...no balloons...not petting zoo...no clowns or magicians. Just Tamara and the nursing staff to celebrate her first year of life. They have come to know her quite well...she's been here three months now. Yes...I said three months! Three months of being in a crib...three months of no playing outside...three months of stimulation deficits...three months of lack of family interaction! If you have or have had a one year old, think back to those first 12 months of life. What was it like for YOUR child for their first twelve months? Warm, nightly baths...lots of hugging, kissing, and cuddling...night time routines with books and "lovies" to sleep with? Family and friends who can hardly wait to get their hands on that new baby, to welcome them to the family with laughter and tons of pictures? Elena was about nine months old when she was brought to the hospital and left there...by two strangers...men her mother acosted out side of a bar. She asked these two men that she didn't know if they would mind watching her baby because the employees of the bar refused to let her take the baby in to buy beer. She would be right back she explained...when she didn't return, the men didn't have anything they could do but take her to a hospital and drop her off. They gave all the information they had about her and left her. In the States she would be on America's Most Wanted, not trying to find HER, but trying to locate her mother. It made quite a stir on the local news channels. Tamara was interviewed and everything. They did receive information on her name and birth date, but up to this point, no information on her mother or father. She is beautiful! Her hair looks a lot like mine did as a child...not much there!! She has big eyes...they brim with "oldness". The "oldness" of someone who has seen way too much, way too young. It takes a bit to get her to smile. But when she does...it lights up the room. You can feel her lack of trust in "the big people" in her life. She is slow to react to kindness, slow to smile, slow to play with the couple of toys tossed in her crib. She didn't try to verbalize or chatter with us. She WAS fascinated with our camera's, like all babies are. I'm not sure she knew it was HER in the camera, I don't know if anyone has ever put her in front of a mirror or not. When I put her down, she initially started to protest...but quickly stopped...it was almost like it was too much work, and with no certainty of success...why bother? As we were leaving those little ones in that stifling hot room, I was unexpectedly overwhelmed with sorrow. What will happen to Elena? What prognosis do the two little boys with disabilities have? What will happen to the little twin that was abandoned by his mother, while his brother was kept? Will he ever know his story? Will it make a difference to him later? What if there was no Tamara in their lives? I just couldn't bear the thought! till another adventure...